outings
by irat
Summary: these are two ficlets , humorous ways how SG1 could discover that Jack is gay.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer . I don´t own SGC, SG1 or similar

miniSpoiler for "Fragile Balance"SEASON 7

AN: please remember that English isn´t my native language.

Title: clonejack

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BANG BANG BANG

"JACK! Open the door! Jack .. I KNOW you don´t sleep anymore. JACK its me and the rest of SG1. JAHACK !! Open this fucking door immediately!"

SG1 watched fascinated how their colonel knocked and screamed at the perpetualy closed door without getting even a wink of a response.

"OHH , why do I have to be so stubborn? JACK it´s important, SGC needs you! JACK!"

The frustrated Colonel wanted to knock again at the door when the door was finally opened by an halfclothed 17 year old Jack.

FINALLY!

"God dammit why did this take so long? Put a T-Shirt on for Christs sake. We need to talk about our problem! Its an emergency!"

With these words Colonel Jack O´Neill passed his clone. The rest of SG1 followed him and Sam and Daniel looked apologetically at miniJack.

After Jack closed the door he followed them and said sarcastically : Make yourself at home! Do you want anything to drink? No coffee here Daniel! No one who visits likes it ! Yeah its nice seeing you too. What? We didn´t see each other since the whole Lokidebacle? What a shame! And it was over a year ago! How could THAT happen? How time flies...

No no I´m feeling well I´m just fucking great. Thanks for your concern!

While SG1, particular Daniel & Sam looked mighty guilty, cloneJack ranted on and grew louder and louder.

Suddenly a door opened and a halfnaked blond guy with messy hair peeked through a crack in the door. Only halfawake and too sleepy to notice the strangers, he asked: "John? Whats up? Everything all right? John? Come back to bed, its so cold and I miss you.

CloneJack didn´t hesitate and went to him. After he gave him a deep kiss he told him softly: "Go back to bed Robert. Sleep. This won´t take long."

After Robert dissappeard into the bedroom, clonejack turned around and saw the whole SG1 sitting on the coach with their mouths wide open. Only Jack wasn´t dumbstruck and looked really pissed :

"God almighty Jack, you couldn´t wait a few years could you? At least until I am retired?"

"I´m sooooo sorry Jack- But you know, teenager here! "

"Then go and screw females like every other male teenager is doing. Why did you have to be a openly gay guy?

What happens when the Air Force discovers this?

Your my clone Jack!

How long do you think it will take, that they put two and two together? You´re my fucking clone! Never heard of don´t ask don´t tell , and fucking don´t live a gay life ?"

SG1 : "You´re gay?"

Yeah yeah I think we established that, didn´t we. I think its obvious I´m bi. Could we return to the important matters ? His lifestyle threatens my career, my whole life. I´m not ready yet to retire! – damn you, you.. .Jackass!

"Don´t be so overdramatic! If and thats a really big IF someone discovers that we´re clones AND that if I´m gay you´re also gay. AND that you´re in the AIR Force AND this person doesn´t like you. Well .. than we tell them Loki is a real incompetent Alien and he mucked everything up and so I came back wrong! I mean, come on ! He didn´t even get the age right! Its obvious im not a perfect copy ... beer?

The older Jack grumbled a little bit but nodded finally acquiescent and relaxed finally on the couch to finally speak about the help SGC need.

THE END

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one of my older ffs

reviews??please?


	2. virus

Disclaimer . i don´t own SGC SG1 or anything from the Buffyverse

AN: please remember that English isn´t my native language.

inspired by Everybody's Got a Secret by Incensio Lady

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Virus

"God! Jack will be soo pleased that we´re interrupting his first free weekend in months!"

"Theres´s no reason to be sarcastic Sam. It can´t be helped. He knows that such interruptions are the hazards of our work!"

"Indeed"

"Yes, you´re right Daniel, but you remember the Colonels parting words? The ones where he threatened us with bodily harm and painful death, if we would dare to interrupt his few free days? We´re lucky that he didn´t go to his cottage but stayed at home.

Damn alien ´s really the worst timing.

Well, who wants to ring the doorbell?"

No reaction.

"Ahh don´t be so scared. Its only Jack.... right??"

DING DONG

No reaction

DING DONG

No reaction

DING DONG DING DONG

A disgruntled looking and only half clothed Colonel opened the door.

"WHAT?"

"Ähm sir?

Its the SGC. The last planet we visited, PX-167987 ...."

"WHAT? Spill it already "

"Well, we all got a virus from it."

Jack groaned and Sam hurried to explain

"But theres no need to be worried sir. Janet already found sth against it, but you and everyone you had ..ähm well.. intercourse with since our visit, needs to get the treatment. Its only a little injection. "

SG1 watched astonished as their teamleader banged his head against the doorframe.

"Sir? Everything all right? Its really not that bad, isn´t it? "

"Sam is right, Jack. No weird side effects, no looming death, only a teeny litle stitch and everything is allright and you can enjoy your free time again... You don´t even have to go to the SGC, Sam has the medicine right here. So its going to take only two minutes and you have your free days back.

Jack sighed:"Well then, come in. Here goes my military career..."

"What do you mean Jack?"

"Just a moment. Sit, drink, enjoy yourself and er Carter.... prepare two syringes."

"SIR?"

"What? Am I not allowed to have a relationship and sex?"

"No, no, its just ...soo ... sudden."

"Deal with it. I will be right back. Oh and ahm you won´t tell anyone about this won´t you? Nobody needs to know that I´m seeing someone.. I would be really grateful...."

"Of course sir."

"Allright Jack, but why these secrets? "

"Just....just wait."

A few minutes later Daniel and Teal´c nursed a beer and Sam had prepared the syirnges. Jack returned, fully clothed, and holding hands with a young, brownhaired guy who had an eyepatch.

"Xander, thats my team SG1. You remember, I told you about Major Samantha Carter, the astrophysical geek? Murray aka Teal´c our resident alien?

And ouf course Dr Daniel Jackson our mulitlingual genius and diplomat?

Guys thats Alexander Harris my partner. "

"Hi guys, Jack told me a lot about you: Its great to finally meet you. Even if its such a sudden and ..unfortunate event."

SILENCE

Sam and Daniel were only able to stare, they couldn´t believe it. Colonel Jack O´ Neill, hard-ass Colonel had a boyfriend? A much younger MALE lover?

Teal´c broke the awkward silence with a polite: " Its nice to meet you.".

"Jack.. you´re ..you´re gay?"

"No, no, I´m bi. Don´t be so shocked, get over it already and pick us with your needle so that Xander and I can enjoy the little time we have left before I have to work again.

THE END

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one of my older fanfictions

Reviews?Please?


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